Single parenting gets talked about a lot in terms of what’s difficult about it. The money, the logistics, the mental load, the fact that when somebody throws up at 3am there’s no possibility whatsoever of pretending you’re asleep until another adult deals with it.

All of that is real. But so is the other side.

There can be something incredibly freeing about creating a family life on your own terms. You get to decide what matters, what doesn’t, what your traditions look like and whether cereal constitutes an acceptable evening meal. You get to build a relationship with your children that belongs entirely to you, and sometimes you discover that the family you have now feels happier, calmer and much more you than the one you thought you were supposed to have.

So, in the interests of celebrating the good stuff, here are 27 genuinely excellent things about being a single parent.

1. You get to make the rules

Want everyone in pyjamas by 6pm on a Sunday? Excellent. Pancakes for dinner? Absolutely. Shoes in the house? Shoes off? Nobody cares. There is something deeply satisfying about realising that you are now the entire committee.

2. You also get to decide which rules are ridiculous

Perhaps you grew up believing beds had to be made every morning, vegetables had to be boiled into submission and Sundays required some sort of formal family activity. Now you can decide which traditions are worth keeping and which can quietly disappear.

3. Nobody undermines you halfway through parenting

You’ve said no. The answer is no. There is no second adult appearing from the kitchen saying, “Oh, go on then,” while handing over a biscuit.

4. You can build your own family culture

Families don’t have to look a particular way to feel like families. You can create your own rituals, jokes, birthday traditions, Christmas routines and Saturday morning habits. The things your children remember most may well be the peculiar little traditions that only make sense to you.

5. You might have the bed to yourself

Obviously this depends on whether you currently have a four-year-old sleeping horizontally across it, but in theory: an entire double bed. Every night. Like royalty.

6. There’s nobody to resent

This one is underrated. Doing all the washing can be tiring. Doing all the washing while watching another fully functioning adult step over the basket for the fourth consecutive day can be infuriating. Sometimes knowing that a job is yours is less exhausting than repeatedly wondering why somebody else hasn’t done it.

7. Your relationship with your children can become incredibly close

When you’re the main team at home, you often develop your own rhythm. The in-jokes, the conversations in the car, the little routines nobody else would understand – there can be a wonderful sense of being in it together.

8. You discover just how capable you are

There’s nothing quite like looking back at something you once thought you couldn’t possibly manage and realising that you did. You sorted the broken boiler. You got everyone through the stomach bug. You took the children on holiday. You assembled the bunk bed. Possibly backwards initially, but that’s not the point.

9. You don't have to negotiate dinner

There is a surprising amount of adult life spent asking another adult what they fancy eating and being told, “I don’t mind.” Now you can make whatever you like. Or eat toast over the sink after bedtime.

10. You can parent according to your own values

You can think properly about the sort of parent you want to be rather than constantly negotiating between two different approaches. That doesn’t mean you’ll always get it right, but the choices you make can feel much more intentional.

11. The sofa is yours

Your programme. Your snacks. Your blanket. Your remote. Nobody suddenly decides to watch a three-hour documentary about Formula One.

12. You get to know yourself again

For many people, becoming a single parent involves rediscovering parts of themselves that became lost somewhere inside a relationship. You might remember what music you like, what you enjoy doing with a free afternoon or even how you like your own home to look.

13. You can make spontaneous decisions

Fancy going to the beach tomorrow? Go. Want to rearrange the living room? Crack on. Thinking about getting a dog? Okay, perhaps think about that one for at least 24 hours. But the point stands.

14. You become excellent at problem-solving

Single parents can achieve astonishing things with one phone call, £8.73, half a tank of petrol and 45 minutes before school pick-up. It’s practically a transferable professional qualification.

15. You get special one-to-one traditions

Maybe you always get chips after swimming. Perhaps Friday night means pizza and a film, or you have a ridiculous song you sing in the car. These ordinary rituals can become some of the strongest memories your children take into adulthood.

16. If you share care, you might actually get proper time off

Not everyone has this, of course, and it can take time to adjust to the children being elsewhere. But if your co-parent has regular contact, you may eventually discover something many coupled parents rarely experience: genuinely child-free time in your own home.

Not “I’ve got an hour while somebody takes them to football” time. Actual what shall I do with myself? time.

17. You can have a social life without negotiating it

If the children are with their other parent, you can go out. No checking diaries. No debate over whose turn it is. No organising a babysitter. You can simply put on your shoes and leave the house, which can feel almost suspiciously easy.

18. Your children get to see independence in action

Children learn about relationships from watching us, but they also learn about adulthood. Seeing a parent make decisions, solve problems, manage money, maintain friendships and create a fulfilling life can be a powerful example.

19. You don't have to spend time with someone else's family

No further comment required.

20. Holidays can be exactly what you want them to be

You might choose a campsite, an all-inclusive resort, a city break or three days eating ice cream in a caravan. There’s nobody campaigning for a holiday you secretly hate. The family holiday can actually suit your family.

21. You can choose your people

Family life doesn’t have to be limited to the people you’re related to. Friends, neighbours, other parents and the people you meet through communities like Frolo can become part of the network around your children. Chosen family counts.

22. You stop sweating some of the small stuff

Single parenting has a useful way of clarifying priorities. Is everybody alive? Fed? Reasonably happy? Excellent. The fact that the World Book Day costume is largely held together with safety pins suddenly feels less significant.

23. Your successes feel properly yours

The first solo holiday. Christmas on your own terms. Getting through the first year. Watching your child flourish after a difficult period. There are moments when you get to look around and think: I made this work.

That feels good.

24. You can change your mind about what family is supposed to look like

Perhaps you once imagined that successful family life meant two parents, a particular kind of house and a particular kind of future. Discovering that happiness exists outside that picture can be enormously freeing.

25. You get to see your children become part of the team

This doesn’t mean making children responsible for adult problems, but there is something lovely about everyone contributing to family life. Older children learn to cook a meal. Younger ones put their own washing away. You begin to feel less like one person serving everybody else and more like a small household working together.

26. You can be proud of the life you've created

Not because single parents are superheroes. Nobody wants to be called a superhero when what they actually need is someone to collect their child from school on Thursday.

But there is something worth recognising in everything you manage, learn and build along the way. Your family might not look how you once imagined it would. That doesn't make it second best.

27. You get to decide what happens next

Perhaps this is the biggest one.

Single parenthood can arrive through separation, divorce, bereavement, choice or circumstances you never expected. Whatever brought you here, this chapter of your life isn't simply the remains of another one.

You get to build something new.

And if you'd like more people around you while you do it, download the Frolo app and connect with a community of single parents who get it. Come for the practical support, stay for the people who will fully appreciate both the serious challenges of single parenting and the underrated joy of having nobody else interfering with the thermostat.

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