Today we have a guest post from Priyanka Joshi - wellness entrepreneur and a single mum to a lovely daughter. Priyanka is an award winning mental health blogger and podcaster.

Dating nowadays feels a bit like trying to find a decent show on Netflix. You have scrolled past the same options a hundred times, the "Recommended for You" section is wildly off, and just when you think you have found something promising, it turns out to have terrible reviews. But behind the humour is a reality I have had to confront. Online dating has changed and so have I.

What I learned through swiping right and left

When I first opened myself into online dating after my divorce, the apps were full of promises decent profiles, witty bios, and the thrill of connection. People were putting effort into making their profile and genuinely seeking real connections. But soon the novelty wore off, replaced by patterns I couldn't ignore. Ghosting became the norm and conversations died mid-sentence. And the few dates that did happen often felt like interviews for a position no one was sure they wanted to fill. And who will talk about the impact on your mental and emotional health? 

Putting myself out there was wildly not enough and in the midst of this, I started noticing something about myself - a pattern I had been blind to for years, even in my past relationship. As Ada Limón beautifully writes in The Hurting Kind, "I like to call things as they are. Before, the only thing I was interested in was love, how it grips you, how it terrifies you, how it annihilates and resuscitates you. I didn’t know then that it wasn’t even love that I was interested in, but my own suffering. I thought suffering kept things interesting. How funny that I called it love and the whole time it was pain."

That quote hit me like a freight train. For the longest time, I have been an avid reader and writer, a firm believer in the power of love. The push-pull, the uncertainty, the emotional rollercoaster I thought that’s the part of it and we need to give people enough chances and nurture them. I didn't meet anyone consistent, respectful or who would value me. It was not only about learning that if it’s meant to be, it will not be this hard and complicated; it will not require constant convincing and exhausting justifications. Real love flows like a river it doesn't fight you at every turn.

And somewhere along the way, I realised another sad truth: people have stopped nurturing relationships. The effort now feels like "too much." Vulnerability is seen as dramatic and patience is in short supply. It’s easier to swipe away at the slightest sign of discomfort than to have a conversation because options are limitless out there. In a world of instant gratification, relationships seem to suffer from a collective attention deficit, people don’t communicate any more.

My short trial with dating in my late 30s has taught me a few things:

1. Clarity is attractive: If I am unsure about someone, I will tell them and protect mine and their peace. 
2. Boundaries are sexy: Giving and protecting my time and energy isn’t being "difficult" or “dramatic” it's showing you care but willing to back if people don't value it.
3. Compatibility over chemistry: The initial spark could mellow down but shared values, emotional safety, and mutual effort are the slow-burning flames that last. 
4. Lastly, my daughter deserves the best version of me and that version doesn’t need to settle for less just because the clock is ticking. I am happy to wait while working on myself and creating beautiful moments with my child.

So what is my idea of love now?

When I meet someone it will be quieter, gentler and less like a battlefield and more like a conversation over coffee, warm like home. It will not be about filling a void but sharing an already full life. It will not be perfect but there will be room to embrace imperfections and build a life around it. 

If you're a single parent like me looking for love and this feels like you, you’re not late, you’re right on time - “your own time”. And you deserve the love that is kind and feels like coming home after a long day, not like standing outside in the rain, wondering if someone will open the door.

Here’s to calling things what they are and finally calling love by its true name!

Love and light,

Priyanka Joshi

www.sanitydaily.com

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If you're ready to give dating a go then try Frolo Dating, the dating app just for single parents!