Being on your own is never easy, and while being a single mum or dad means you’re rarely alone, that doesn’t make being lonely any less likely. So how do you deal with loneliness as a single parent?

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

A frolo recently took to the Frolo feed to ask for recommendations on how to be content alone and in particular, how to be happy alone with the kids. As always, the community of frolos rallied round with some great advice, so we decided to share some of it here in case anyone else is feeling lonely right now.

One thing it is important to remember is to avoid forming unhealthy attachments to people out of loneliness. Read our community tips on dealing with loneliness, below.

How Do You Deal With Loneliness As A Single Parent?

Dealing with loneliness as a single parent depends on identifying why it is that you’re feeling lonely. Is it because you physically need more people in your life, ie, you’re missing a romantic or platonic relationship with a partner or friends and being a single parent is making this impossible? Or is it because you are not feeling fulfilled emotionally by only having a parenting role? Journaling about your feelings when you’re experiencing loneliness is one way to get to the route of the problem, and then you will be in a better position to address change.

You're Not Alone: Join Frolo Today

The first port of call for anyone feeling lonely is Frolo, the single parent app. Download the app and join a meet-up today, we're all here for you. Being a single parent can feel all-encompassing and overwhelming. It can feel like there is so much weight on your shoulders, and that nobody understands. But we promise you, there are thousands of other single parents out there feeling exactly the same as you are, right now. Connecting with others who are in the same situation as you are, can make you feel less lonely almost instantaneously. On the app you'll find message boards, meet-ups (both online and in person) and local frolos who you can get together with and turn lonely weekends into fun-filled days and nights. Download the Frolo app here.

There is nothing wrong with feeling lonely when you’re at home with the children, so try and remove guilt from this equation. We all need multiple forms of connection to feel emotionally fulfilled, some will be fulfilled through caring roles, others might need physical touch or intellectual connection. Think carefully about what might be missing, and then you can seek this out, either in real life, or via online community and connection.

Getting some new perspective via books or other reading materials is also a great idea. Here are our frolos’ tips for dealing with loneliness as a single parent.

How Do You Meet Single Parents In Your Area?

Single Parent Loneliness Tips

• I'm reading Derren Brown's "Happy" at the minute, it puts a different spin on what it means to be content. There's a small summarised version called "Little Happy" too.
• We all need to recognise too that "being alone" doesn't always mean you are lonely (as most people know, you can also be in company and feel lonely). Being in your own company and "enjoying" it, is a massive step forward.
• [When getting to know new people, the] only way to truly know someone is to spend time in their company.
• I recommend 'The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F@ck" by Mark Manson. Don't let the title put you off, it's a dose of raw honest truth and how to become a happier and better person. The language is not sugar coated, so be prepared.
• It's not about being alone, but in terms of zooming out on your life, and helping you shape ideas about where you are, where you're going, and how best to use your precious time on this earth, I'd recommend 4,000 Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman. His other book, The Courage to be Happy, looks good too.
• There is a book called the F**k it method.
• I absolutely love Thich Nhat Hanh, he has written countless books you can find some on YouTube for free. His teachings are amazing.
• I think it's useful to look at why you're not content alone with kids. For me, that tends to be about safety as the only adult at home, and the fear of ‘what ifs’. At least once you can recognise why you aren't content, you can decide whether to just accept it, or try to change it. But I think it's also useful to acknowledge that it's ok to want to find a new partner - you don't have to be content alone.
• There are some pretty good mindfulness books by Thich Naht Hanh. The Miracle of Mindfulness and also The Art of Living.​​

Join the Frolo Community if you're feeling lonely as a single parent. We've got you. To join Frolo Dating, simply download the Frolo app.

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