When parents separate, one of the biggest concerns is often money. Raising children is expensive, and when children live primarily with one parent, child maintenance can play an important role in helping to cover everyday costs such as food, clothing, school expenses and activities.

Many parents are able to reach their own arrangements about financial support, but this is not always possible. In some situations, communication has broken down, relationships are strained or there are disagreements about what should be paid. This is where the Child Maintenance Service (CMS) can help.

If you've heard people talking about the CMS but aren't quite sure how it works, this guide explains the basics, including how payments are calculated, what happens if payments stop and where to get additional support.

What is child maintenance?

Child maintenance is money paid by one parent to another to help with the costs of raising a child.

Usually, maintenance is paid by the parent who does not have day-to-day care of the child, although every family situation is different. Child maintenance is separate from arrangements about contact and time spent with children. A parent cannot refuse contact because maintenance is not being paid, and a parent cannot stop paying maintenance because they are unhappy with contact arrangements.

The purpose of child maintenance is to ensure that both parents contribute financially to their child's upbringing.

Do you have to use the Child Maintenance Service?

No.

Many separated parents make their own arrangements without involving the CMS. This is known as a family-based arrangement.

For some families, this works well. Parents may agree how much will be paid, when payments will be made and how additional expenses such as school trips or clubs will be covered. Family-based arrangements can be flexible and can adapt as circumstances change.

However, they rely on both parents communicating effectively and sticking to what has been agreed. If payments become irregular or discussions regularly lead to conflict, a formal arrangement may provide greater security.

The Child Maintenance Service offers a more structured approach. It can calculate how much maintenance should be paid and, if necessary, collect payments and take enforcement action if payments are missed.

Who can use the CMS?

The CMS can usually be used if:

• Your child is under 16, or under 20 and in approved education or training.
• The parent paying maintenance lives in the UK.
• You and the other parent are unable to agree suitable arrangements independently.

There are some exceptions and special circumstances, so it is worth checking the eligibility criteria if your family situation is more complex.

How is child maintenance calculated?

One of the most common misconceptions about child maintenance is that parents can simply choose an amount.

When the CMS is involved, calculations are based on a formula. The starting point is usually the paying parent's gross income, using information provided by HMRC.

The calculation then takes into account factors such as:

• The number of children requiring support.
• Other children the paying parent may be responsible for.
• How often the children stay overnight with each parent.
• Certain benefits received by the paying parent.

This means the amount paid can vary significantly between families.

The government provides an online child maintenance calculator, which can give an estimate of what payments might look like in your circumstances.

How does shared care affect maintenance?

Many parents are surprised to learn that overnight stays can affect child maintenance calculations.

The CMS recognises that when children spend regular nights with the paying parent, that parent is also contributing towards day-to-day costs during those periods.

As a result, maintenance payments may be reduced depending on the number of overnight stays that take place over the course of a year.

This can sometimes become a source of disagreement between parents, particularly if there are different views about how much time children spend in each household. Keeping records and ensuring arrangements are clearly understood can help avoid disputes.

What happens if the paying parent is self-employed?

Self-employment can make child maintenance calculations more complicated.

For employed parents, HMRC records usually provide a straightforward picture of earnings. For self-employed parents, income can fluctuate and financial arrangements may be more complex.

In some cases, the receiving parent may feel that the income used by the CMS does not accurately reflect the paying parent's financial circumstances.

If you believe the calculation is incorrect, there may be options to request a review or challenge certain decisions. It is often worth seeking advice if you have concerns about how income has been assessed.

What if circumstances change?

Life rarely stands still after separation.

Parents may change jobs, move house, start new relationships or experience changes in income. Children grow older and their needs evolve.

If circumstances change significantly, child maintenance arrangements may need to be reviewed. Depending on the situation, this may happen automatically through updated HMRC information or may require one of the parents to notify the CMS.

Keeping arrangements up to date can help prevent misunderstandings and ensure that support remains appropriate for the child's needs.

What happens if payments stop?

Unfortunately, missed payments are one of the most common concerns raised by single parents.

If you have a family-based arrangement, resolving payment problems often relies on communication between parents. This can be difficult, particularly if the relationship is already strained.

When the CMS is involved, there are different payment options available.

Some parents use Direct Pay, where the CMS calculates the amount but parents handle payments themselves. Others use Collect and Pay, where the CMS collects payments from the paying parent and passes them on to the receiving parent.

If payments are repeatedly missed, the CMS has enforcement powers that can include deductions from earnings, deductions from bank accounts and other legal measures.

What if your child is over 16?

Child maintenance does not necessarily stop when a child turns 16.

In many cases, payments continue if a young person remains in approved full-time education or training. This can include sixth form, college courses and certain training programmes.

The exact rules can vary, so it is important to check your individual circumstances as children approach school leaving age.

Looking after yourself during maintenance disputes

Conversations about money can be emotionally draining, particularly when they are linked to wider co-parenting challenges.

It can be frustrating if you feel unsupported financially or if you are constantly chasing payments. Equally, paying parents may feel stressed about meeting their obligations while managing their own financial pressures.

Where possible, try to separate financial discussions from conversations about the children themselves. Seeking advice early can often prevent problems from escalating and help parents focus on finding practical solutions.

Useful resources

If you need further information or support, the following organisations may help:

• Child Maintenance Service
• Citizens Advice
• Gingerbread
• Resolution
• Family Mediation Council
• Turn2us
• Frolo community groups and discussions

Child maintenance can be a sensitive subject, but understanding how the system works can make it easier to navigate. Whether you choose a family-based arrangement or use the Child Maintenance Service, the aim is the same: ensuring children receive appropriate financial support from both parents.

If you are struggling with maintenance issues, remember that you do not have to figure everything out alone. Advice, information and support are available, and many other single parents have faced similar challenges. Taking the time to understand your options can help you make informed decisions and feel more confident about the next steps.

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