A recent post sparked a lot of conversation around the terms single parent and solo parent – and it highlighted something important.

We don’t all mean the same thing when we use these words.

Language around parenting after separation, loss or choice can feel loaded. Sometimes it’s used casually. Sometimes defensively. Sometimes as a way of trying to explain something that doesn’t fit neatly into a box. And occasionally, confusion over terms can unintentionally lead to comparison or misunderstanding.

So let’s take a step back and untangle some of the most common definitions. Not to police language. Not to create hierarchy. But simply to offer clarity.

Because clarity reduces friction.

Single parent

“Single parent” is often used as an umbrella term.

Broadly, it describes someone raising a child without a partner in the household. That might include:

• Separated or divorced parents
• Widowed parents
• Solo parents by choice
• Parents whose partner is not involved

It refers primarily to relationship status, not necessarily to parenting arrangements. A single parent might be co-parenting actively across two households, or they might be parenting entirely alone.

That’s where some of the confusion begins.

Solo parent

“Solo parent” is often used to describe someone who is parenting entirely alone.

There is no shared custody, no second household, and no co-parenting relationship. All practical, emotional and financial responsibility sits with one adult.

Some people prefer the word “solo” because it reflects the lived reality of doing everything alone, rather than simply describing relationship status. Others use “single parent” for everything and don’t feel the need to distinguish.

Neither is wrong. But for some, the difference feels significant.

Solo parent by choice

This is an important distinction.

A solo parent by choice is someone who intentionally chooses to become a parent without a partner. This may involve donor conception, IVF or assisted reproduction, or adoption.

This path is planned and deliberate. It isn’t a fallback or something that “just happened”.

Choice, however, doesn’t mean easy. Solo parenting by choice still involves carrying full responsibility, navigating financial pressures, and raising a child without a partner in the home. It is simply a different starting point.

Co-parenting

Co-parenting usually refers to two parents raising a child across separate households who actively communicate and make decisions together.

Ideally, co-parenting includes:

• Shared decision-making
• Communication about schooling and health
• Some level of collaboration

It doesn’t mean it’s always smooth. It doesn’t mean there isn’t tension. But it does suggest both parents are engaged and involved.

Parallel parenting

Parallel parenting is often used in situations where communication between parents is high-conflict.

Rather than collaborating closely, parents operate separately with minimal direct contact. There are clear boundaries, structured arrangements and limited interaction, often to protect children from exposure to conflict.

It isn’t a failure of co-parenting. In many cases, it’s a protective strategy.

Widowed parent

Widowed parenting carries its own distinct experience.

This isn’t separation. It isn’t divorce. It isn’t a co-parenting relationship that changed shape. It is parenting after the death of a partner.

That means parenting alongside grief. It means holding absence rather than managing contact. It means explaining loss to children while processing your own.

It deserves to be named separately because the emotional landscape is different.

Why does this matter?

On one level, these are just words. But language shapes how people feel seen.

When someone casually says they are “solo parenting this weekend”, they may simply mean their partner is away. But for someone who is parenting entirely alone, that word carries permanence and weight.

At the same time, this isn’t about correcting people or drawing lines in the sand. There isn’t necessarily a universally “right” label. Many people move between terms, or use whichever feels most comfortable in the moment.

What matters most is that we recognise single parenting isn’t one fixed experience.

Some parents are navigating cooperative co-parenting relationships.
Some are parallel parenting with strict boundaries.
Some are raising children entirely alone.
Some are widowed.
Some chose this path intentionally.

All sit under a broad umbrella, but their daily realities differ.

Understanding that helps us avoid comparison. It helps us respond with curiosity rather than assumption. And it allows people to describe their situation honestly, without feeling they need to defend it.

At Frolo, we believe clarity and compassion can sit side by side. You don’t have to justify the label you use. But you do deserve to feel understood in the experience you’re living.

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